Aatm manthan..(आत्म मंथन )

I dream, I think, I wander here and there, I often wonder, whether I should have any fear.. Elders taught us, 'We should learn from our mistakes', But I feel they never knew, How much effort 'it' takes.. to first try hard and commit a mistake everytime, And then try harder not to repeat that in your lifetime.. I talk, I laugh, I sing all around, I express my feelings freely, Since I am not 'bound'.. Then people come to me and say 'Silence' is 'Gold', I have just said what I felt.. How can they be so 'Cold'..!! And when I am silent, They will call me 'Dumb', And when I'm not, They will again have complains and come.. I do work, I do help, and I trust people without any doubt, I love, I care, and I know its not something to blab about.. But here too.. people doubt my ability to judge, They have their own point of view and they make a fuss.. In their opinion, for many decisions, I am far too young, But, If I start acting child

Aap hi ho vo jisne sikhaya kya hai sahi.. aur kya hai galat, Aap hi ho vo jisne sudhari meri har buri aadat.. Aap ke aanchal ke chaav main hi maine seekhi is jeevan ki baarikiyan.. Har cheej ko parakhne ka hunar bhi aapne hi mujhko hai diya.. Aaj bhi mai kuch galat karu agar.. aap hi ho jo mujhko tokti.. Chahe mai kuch bhi bol du.. kabhi mujhko akela na chodti.. Har mushkil pal mai suljha deti ho.. koi mushkil bata ke toh dekho.. Kabhi narajgi, kabhi pyaar, dekhe hain roop aapke anekho.. Chahe jitna bhi gussa ho.. pyaar se aagosh mai lene se maan jana.. kabhi dost, kabhi guru, toh kabhi bachi si ban jana.. Kabhi toh mere kuch kehne se jhat se maan jana.. Toh kabhi kehna,"Haan Beta ab tu meri Maa ban jana!"...:P.. Humne seekha kaafi kuch hai aapse.. kya kya ye bata pana mumkin nahin.. hum toh nikal aaye chodh aapko.. par aap abhi bhi intezar karti ho vahin.. Mumkin hai kabhi is zindagi mai koi bhool kar jaun main kabhi.. Par meri us bhool ko sudharne ki pre

Why this always happens..??.. I ask myself often.. That I am all alone.. and my life has no charm, no fun.. I stand alone clueless, with so many people around me.. Who say they understand me.. but when I need them, they flee.. Though I try and try harder again, my life is so dull, so bore.. As if I am trying to fit in somewhere I am needed no more.. believing everyone.. when I just try to move on.. I feel so cheated that I cry from dusk till dawn.. I feel  so helpless, I feel so scared.. I know I am so dumb, that I even cared.. That how will they feel, If I did something.. the fact was.. to them I meant 'nothing'.. Are they not deserving.. are they not worthy for my tears.. are they not the one.. I cannot share with them my fears..? How can I understand, how can I feel everything, and then feel bad.. How can they be so cold, so numb, and hurt without feeling sad.. Something has gone extremely wrong.. but what??.. that only God knows.. why I am the one to

kabhi kisi roj.. na jaane kyun.. man mai ajeeb si ghabhrahat hoti hai... Khud ki hi jaani pehchaani si hasi.. na jaane kyun anjaan si ban jaati hai.. Bina kisi baat ke hi jab maa ko kuch batane ka man karta hai.. Kuch bhi to hua nahi.. par pher bhi dil kis baat se hai itna darta hai? Jab kisi se kuch bhi bolne ka man nahi hai karta.. Jab sabse pyari cheej se bhi man nahi maanta.. Aur Jab ye baanwara man reh reh kar aur khwahishe karta hai.. Kuch bh to hua nahi.. par pher bhi dil kis baat se hai itna darta hai? Har gujarne vala pal.. jab ek din jaisa bhaari hai lagta.. kab ye aankhein nam ho jaati hai.. jab pata hi nahi chalta.. Akele khud se khud hi guftagu karne ko jab man machalne lagta hai.. Kuch bh to hua nahi.. par pher bhi dil kis baat se hai itna darta hai? kaise ek chota sa sabd "na" apno ko paraya bana deta hai.. Aur unke badle andaaj ko dekh kar ye nadaan dil kyun rone lagta hai?? Kya ye sab meri hi jimmedari hai??.. kuch auron ka bhi to farz banta hai.. Kuch bh to

Kya tha vo daur..Wah! Kya thi Zindagi.. kaise itni jaldi nikal gaye vo 4 saal, yeh hai aboojh paheli.. Vo aankh khulte hi.. mobile mai GT ke msg ka milna.. tab timetable ek aankh se dekh kar.. dubara bistar pe gir jana.. Pher aaram se neend puri kar, sabko jagana.. debo ka vo roj roj class na jane ke bahane banana.. Vo bhag bhag kar mess mai nashta karne jaana.. Aur teacher ke class mai pahuchne ke 15 min baad class pahunch pana.. Vo entry maarte hi gud morning ke saath teacher ko ek smile dena.. taaki agar vo naraj bh ho.. tab bhi enter karne se roke na!!:-D.. Pher andar baith kar thoda bahut samajhne ki koshish karna.. na samajh aaye toh jo kan mai pade vo bina samjhe note karte rehna.. Kyunki chahe jo bhi ho.. hum ko minor bh toh dene hi hai.. aakhirkaar aaye toh college mai hum degree lene hai..:P pher kabhi boring se lecture mai baar baar ubasi lena.. ya jyada neend aaye toh teacher ka dimaag kha lena.. Vo submissions mai record tod Bunk pe Bunk lagana.. Aur fine lag jaane par HOD

I don't complain, I don't shout.. I believe everyone without raising a single doubt.. Does that mean I am feeling less.. I am just being polite!! is it so difficult to guess?? I do feel everything be it sweet or bitter I am confident, but sometimes I too fear.. having lot of friends though.. I do feel lonely sometimes.. My life is also not so easy.. I also face tides.. I see, I hear, I wander here and there, And when I am hurt, my eyes are too full of tears.. I understand there are decisions in life which are very tough, But when I say something is right I am sure enough.. I know I said I could control my emotions, But I realise now.. I cannot fullfill all those preconceived notions!! Now what should I do!! if I want to live my own life.. But with my rules, my conditions, without any strife. I want to make mistakes, I want to learn from them.. May be that is not right, but its not a crime to be condemned.. I can act foolishly when situations are critical.. After all I am no God

People are ready, set is the goal.. As days go by expectations are getting more.. We try harder and harder with our heart and soul.. We turn every stone, and knock every door.. Some are there to give us their support.. Some are even there to cut our throat.. We start doubting everyone be a friend or a foe.. We stand all alone, belonging to a family though!! Then comes the result we either make through or fail.. We are frightened, thinking.. whether we'll sink or sail.. If its the former we bloom as lilly in may..:).. Be it the latter, we are full of dismay.. Then we hope.. to stand up again.. to try harder and win again.. But here again we should not forget the man who has nothing can still have faith..