Feelingless

Why this always happens..??.. I ask myself often..
That I am all alone.. and my life has no charm, no fun..
I stand alone clueless, with so many people around me..
Who say they understand me.. but when I need them, they flee..

Though I try and try harder again, my life is so dull, so bore..
As if I am trying to fit in somewhere I am needed no more..
believing everyone.. when I just try to move on..
I feel so cheated that I cry from dusk till dawn..

I feel  so helpless, I feel so scared..
I know I am so dumb, that I even cared..
That how will they feel, If I did something..
the fact was.. to them I meant 'nothing'..

Are they not deserving.. are they not worthy for my tears..
are they not the one.. I cannot share with them my fears..?
How can I understand, how can I feel everything, and then feel bad..
How can they be so cold, so numb, and hurt without feeling sad..

Something has gone extremely wrong.. but what??.. that only God knows..
why I am the one to get hurt.. that too from all those who are so close..
'Forgive and Forget' is an old prescription for health and happiness..
Who said that and who did that.. was He so 'feelingless'..??..