Aatm manthan..(आत्म मंथन )

 तकलीफ किसे कहते है, अब जाकर समझ आया... आजकल मन में काफी कुछ है बोलने के लिए... और जुबाँ हर वक़्त ख़ामोश रहती है | क्यूंकि लगता है कि, कोई समझना ही नहीं चाहता है... चाहे कुछ भी कर लूँ मैं, दोष मुझ पर ही आना है | तकलीफ किसे कहते है, अब जाकर समझ आया... वो जो किसी वक़्त मुझे पलकों पर बिठाये रखते थे... आज दुनियाँ के बारें मे सोच कर, मुझसे रूठे बैठे है | जब मेरी आवाज सुनना ही, उनको अब रास नहीं आता है... तो सोचती हूँ अपनी ख़ामोशी से ही, उनको खुश कर देते है | तकलीफ किसे कहते है, अब जाकर समझ आया... हर कोई शायद, अपने-अपने नजरिये से सही होता है... यही सोच कर, कोई शिक़वा नहीं किया मैंने | पर ख़ामि और ख़ूबी तो ढूंढ़ने वालो के नज़रिये मे है... जानबूझकर तो कोई भी, ग़ुनाह नहीं किया मैंने | तकलीफ किसे कहते है, अब जाकर समझ आया... आजकल ज़िन्दगी मुझे इतनी खुशनुमा नहीं लगती... पर अब जैसी भी है जिंदगी, लगता है सही ही है | अब सबसे अजनबी बनकर रहने का ज़ी करता है... "ख़ास" बनने कि उम्मीद तो अब मैंने छोड़ दी है | तकलीफ किसे कहते है, अब जाकर समझ आया... लग रहा है टूट-सी गयी हूँ मैं अंदर से... अब कोई भी माहौल पूरी ख़ु

I love you to the moon and back... I know I do and I know you know that. Believe me, I will never do anything to hurt you intentionally, But why do you expect me to follow standard social norms senselessly? You taught me, fed me, guided me to take my place in this world... I learned so many things from you and the rest of the people I observed. Now, I understand some things better, I see how this whole world works... But you have changed? Do you consider my well-grounded judgment a curse?? Believe me, I will never do anything to hurt you intentionally, But why do you expect me to follow standard social norms senselessly? I think nowadays... Is your reaction like this just because I am not a "Boy"? Cause, I saw your forgiving nature before - for the "boys" in the family when they annoy. I just spoke my heart out to you, thinking you are mine and I am yours... I knew it might cause some pain, But it would all work out as one matures.  Believe me, I will never do anyth

I remember... as a child, whenever I closed my eyes to ask God for a wish, I always wished to become someone with incredible knowledge and someone who brings my parents' bliss! Time and time again, I tried my best to not disappoint, I focused on studies, with limited friends, remained "unspoiled". It is difficult to leave your nest and live in a place where you don't belong, But the desire to be the best version of myself, and achieve great things, drove me all along, I worked hard, and gave all that I could, just to be "perfect",  A "perfect" student, A "perfect" employee, A "perfect" child, someone all would accept! Then there was a time when I lost myself, I gave up, and I needed some support, I decided - It was time to think for myself, and I knew for some I will "fall short". They might judge, they might measure me with their unrealistic standard, Some might not care that I live or I die, but I definitely might be