Aatm manthan..(आत्म मंथन )

Sometimes you don't know the exact answers to the questions asked.. Sometimes you don't know which advice is genuine and which one is masked.. Sometimes your heart and mind are so conflicted that you freeze.. Sometimes you say sorry without reason, be it to people or to trees.. You are carefree but at times very conscious of if you are beautiful, ugly, slim or fat.. Well, believe me it is totally normal girl.. and I know no one must have told you that! Sometimes you don't know whether you are in the right spot.. Sometimes you don't know what is right and what is not.. Sometimes you start doubting yourselves and there are times when you blame fate.. Sometimes things get so messy that.. however hard you try you cannot think straight.. Everything around changes so fast that you feel vulnerable and without a safety hat.. Well, believe me it is totally normal girl.. and I know no one must have told you that!

Fairbanks greeted us with a world draped in white, A winter wonderland bathed in soft Arctic light. Huskies raced through the snow with untamed delight, As we soaked in warm springs beneath the silent night. The Ice Museum sparkled with a frozen embrace, Bearded trees whispered of nature’s grace. Yet the aurora, elusive, played its shy game, Hiding behind clouds, just out of frame. Through the Arctic Circle, where the Yukon lay still, We traced history’s path through the crisp winter chill. The Enchanted Forest stood, silent and bright, A frozen cathedral bathed in soft light. Then Santa’s village brought childhood cheer, As Fairbanks unveiled its wonders so near. And at last, the sky, in its midnight hue, Unfurled a curtain of flowing green. In nature’s vastness, a lesson untold, That life endures through frost and cold. The trees still stand, the rivers still run, Proof that resilience shines like the sun. With hearts full of wonder, we bid farewell, To a land where stories and memor...

क्यूँ यूँ आँखें नम है, और मन उदास.. और गला भर आता है यूँ-ही बार-बार.. हँस तो देती हूँ मैं, पर ये दिल अंदर से रोता है.. समझ नहीं आ रहा कि आखिर ऐसा क्यूँ होता है!! अब तो बस दूसरों की कहानियाँ सुनना अच्छा लगता है.. अपनी कहानी सोचूँ अगर, तो मुझे रोना आता है | कभी लगता है अपनों को खो देने का डर, तो कभी ख़ुद की नजरो मे गिर जाने का डर ||  हाँ, जानती हूँ मैं कि ईश्वर का बेशकीमती तोहफ़ा होते है माँ-पापा.. अच्छी शिक्षा और परवरिश दी आपने, जिससे खड़ी हूँ अपने पैरों पे... आपकी वजह से मिले मुझे पंख, जिनसे मैं उड़ सकती हूँ... आसमान में, पर क्यूँ अब, आप दोनों ही मुझे उड़ता हुआ देख.. ऐसे सहम रहे हैं?? मेरी ख़ुद की ज़िन्दगी के फैसलों में, आप मुझे समाज का डर दिखाते हैं! मानिये तो... क़ाबिल हूँ, समझदार हूँ मैं.. पर आप शायद मानना नहीं चाहते हैं... जिस समाज की बात आप करते हो, उनको तो मेरे वज़ूद से कोई मतलब नहीं.. फिर आप क्यूँ, मेरी बात को नज़रअंदाज करते हैं, जैसे मैं इस दुनिया मैं ही नहीं रही.. अब बहुत हो गया, इतना भी अनदेखा मत करना कि मैं हार मान जाऊँ... कहीं कल आप मुझे आवाज़ दो.. और मैं शायद आपको सुन ही ना पाऊँ....

कुछ सीखा मैंने इन झरनो को देख कर! पहाड़ों की ऊँचाई से घबराओ नहीं, बस थोड़ी-सी हिम्मत कर कोशिश करते रहना। अगर बढ़ते चले तुम अपने प्रवाह के साथ, तो मुश्किलों से रास्ता खुद-ब-खुद बन जायेगा। यह सीखा मैंने इन झरनो को देख कर! दिल खोलकर जियों तुम अपनी ज़िन्दगी, ये दुनियाँ और समाज एक दिन यूँ-ही किनारा लग जायेगा। ख़ुशियाँ बांटते जाओ तुम हरदम बिना करे कोई भेद-भाव, क्यूँकि दुनियाँ की सोच की तपस से तुम्हारा वज़ूद भाप बन जायेगा। यह सीखा मैंने इन झरनो को देख कर!

Vo ladki hai na bilkul seedhi-saadhi si, sab ki aankhon ka tara hai, Ek dor-si hai vo resham ki jisne humare poore parivaar ko ek saath baandha h... Maine jab se hosh sambhala maine, tujhko apne saath paaya hai, Bhagwan ne tujhe meri pehli jigri dost, meri pehli guru, meri badi behen banaya hai... Sabse badi bachhi hai ghar ki tu, toh samajhdaar hona toh mandatory hi hai, Shayad is kaaran apne liye kam aur humare liye tune humesha socha hai.. Chahe Pantnagar se NIT ya Sarkari Naukri se abroad padhne jane ki jidd ho Meri.. Bas tu hi ek support-system thi meri jiske karaan darr ke saath bh sapne dekhne ki himmat Kari... Pata tha chahe personal ya professional problem aaye TU hai mere paas... Kamakshi ki photocopy ki image se nikal kar khud ki pehchaan ki thi mujhe talaash. Kayi saal tujhse door reh li mai tujhse didu... par sach mai koi NAHI hai tujh jaisa... Jiski purani kitabon se lekar, naye kapdo par by-default haq lage humesha (chahe fit na aaye ;)) Ab toh teri Shaadi ho gayi, sab ...

When you look at the vastness of the ocean, of the sky, You remember that you are still a drop in this world! If this endless ocean can calm itself, then there are endless possibilities For those who dare to try—venture past the shore where the ocean meets the sky. The waves whisper stories of resilience and change, Of tides that rise and fall, yet never truly end. Like them, we ebb and flow, sometimes lost, sometimes found, Yet within us lies the strength to rise again, unbound. The horizon stretches, a bridge between dreams and reality, A reminder that limits exist only in the mind. Step forward, embrace the unknown, let the wind be your guide, For beyond the shore, new journeys and destinies reside.

 तकलीफ किसे कहते है, अब जाकर समझ आया... आजकल मन में काफी कुछ है बोलने के लिए... और जुबाँ हर वक़्त ख़ामोश रहती है | क्यूंकि लगता है कि, कोई समझना ही नहीं चाहता है... चाहे कुछ भी कर लूँ मैं, दोष मुझ पर ही आना है | तकलीफ किसे कहते है, अब जाकर समझ आया... वो जो किसी वक़्त मुझे पलकों पर बिठाये रखते थे... आज दुनियाँ के बारें मे सोच कर, मुझसे रूठे बैठे है | जब मेरी आवाज सुनना ही, उनको अब रास नहीं आता है... तो सोचती हूँ अपनी ख़ामोशी से ही, उनको खुश कर देते है | तकलीफ किसे कहते है, अब जाकर समझ आया... हर कोई शायद, अपने-अपने नजरिये से सही होता है... यही सोच कर, कोई शिक़वा नहीं किया मैंने | पर ख़ामि और ख़ूबी तो ढूंढ़ने वालो के नज़रिये मे है... जानबूझकर तो कोई भी, ग़ुनाह नहीं किया मैंने | तकलीफ किसे कहते है, अब जाकर समझ आया... आजकल ज़िन्दगी मुझे इतनी खुशनुमा नहीं लगती... पर अब जैसी भी है जिंदगी, लगता है सही ही है | अब सबसे अजनबी बनकर रहने का ज़ी करता है... "ख़ास" बनने कि उम्मीद तो अब मैंने छोड़ दी है | तकलीफ किसे कहते है, अब जाकर समझ आया... लग रहा है टूट-सी गयी हूँ मैं अंदर से... अब कोई भी माहौल पूरी ख़ु...

I love you to the moon and back... I know I do and I know you know that. Believe me, I will never do anything to hurt you intentionally, But why do you expect me to follow standard social norms senselessly? You taught me, fed me, guided me to take my place in this world... I learned so many things from you and the rest of the people I observed. Now, I understand some things better, I see how this whole world works... But you have changed? Do you consider my well-grounded judgment a curse?? Believe me, I will never do anything to hurt you intentionally, But why do you expect me to follow standard social norms senselessly? I think nowadays... Is your reaction like this just because I am not a "Boy"? Cause, I saw your forgiving nature before - for the "boys" in the family when they annoy. I just spoke my heart out to you, thinking you are mine and I am yours... I knew it might cause some pain, But it would all work out as one matures.  Believe me, I will never do anyth...

I remember... as a child, whenever I closed my eyes to ask God for a wish, I always wished to become someone with incredible knowledge and someone who brings my parents' bliss! Time and time again, I tried my best to not disappoint, I focused on studies, with limited friends, remained "unspoiled". It is difficult to leave your nest and live in a place where you don't belong, But the desire to be the best version of myself, and achieve great things, drove me all along, I worked hard, and gave all that I could, just to be "perfect",  A "perfect" student, A "perfect" employee, A "perfect" child, someone all would accept! Then there was a time when I lost myself, I gave up, and I needed some support, I decided - It was time to think for myself, and I knew for some I will "fall short". They might judge, they might measure me with their unrealistic standard, Some might not care that I live or I die, but I definitely might be...

तू बस सुन ले तो सब परेशानिया छोटी सी.. तू साथ हो तो अनजान गलियां भी घर जैसी.. तू मान जाए तो सारी गलतियां मांफ.. तू देख ले तो सब कुछ दिखने लगे साफ़! समझ से परे है यह प्यारा सा रिश्ता.. क्यूँकि माँ तेरी कोई नहीं है उपमा ||   आज भी सीखाती रहती है वो, क्या सही है और क्या है गलत... चाहे जितने तर्क-वितर्क कर लो.. और बोल दो कुछ उनको पलट... रूठ जाती है वो कभी, तो कभी बात सुनकर भी मान जाती है.. पर कभी बस बोलकर की "यह मैंने कहा है".. अपनी भी मनवा लेती है ! समझ से परे है यह प्यारा सा रिश्ता.. क्यूँकि माँ तेरी कोई नहीं है उपमा ||

बस कल ही की तो बात हैं..  मैं सोच रही थी कि, एक अरसा हो गया है हमें बात करे.. आज क्यों  ना थोड़ा समय निकाल कर, तुमसे गुफ्तगू कर ली जाए, थोड़ी सी इधर उधर कि बातें हम पहले ही कर लें.. फिर दिल खोल कर, बिन नापे तोले, अपना हाल-ए-मन हम एक दूजे को बताये ।।  बस कल ही की तो बात हैं..  मन सोचने लगा फिर कि, अभी तो बिलकुल समय नहीं .. और तुम भी अभी, मशरूफ होगे अपने काम मे, थोड़ी देर मे, जब हो सके, तब बात कर लेंगे हम यूँ ही.. ऐसी कोई जरुरी बात भी नहीं कि,  तुमको अभी इसी वक़्त तकलीफ दी जाए ।।  बस कल ही की तो बात हैं..  दो बातें एक दूसरे से करना कब तकलीफ बन गया, पता ही ना चला.. एक दूसरे की ख़ुशी के लिए, क्या हम अब अजनबी बन गए? ऐसा तो बिलकुल नहीं कि, हमने एक दूसरे को हो भुला दिया.. फिर क्यों करें हम तक्कलुफ़, बस तुम कुछ कहो.. और हम सुनते चले ।।  बस कल ही की तो बात हैं..  यूँ सोचते हुए मैं कुछ और करने लग गयी, फिर पता ही नहीं चला और पूरा दिन बीत गया.. क्यूंकि अब देर हो चुकी थी, तो बात अगले दिन को टाल दी.. पर याद मैंने करा तुम्हे, बस बात करना रह गया ।।  बस कल ही ...

  An appreciative boss, a dependable team, and a fantastic role, It is never easy to move on and let go of this "convenience". But, with the need to go onwards and upwards till you reach the goal, New experiences are required to avoid boredom and achieve brilliance!! There is still a long way for me to go, and the road ahead is steep, And I think it might be the right time for me to take the next leap. I feel guilty as I might be selfish for thinking about (only) myself, I also feel confused and fearful of making the wrong decision.  But, I need to exhibit strength and propel myself (forward), As I think, I might lose this opportunity to a moment of hesitation. There is still a long way for me to go, and the road ahead is steep, And I think it might be the right time for me to take the next leap. Success stories of fearless leaders have something in common, No matter where they were from, they all had hopes and dreams. They all had several other qualities, I know I have not f...

A constant light to follow, whenever I feel that it is going dark.. A constant ray of hope, when I am scared that I would miss the mark. A constant reminder that nothing good can come to people who do wrong.. A constant guide who tells me to hold my head high and drive along. A constant support who needs to know everyday how am I doing.. A constant good luck charm to ensure that I am always achieving. A constant learner who motivates me to always be on a pursuit.. A constant note to remind me that I should never forget my root. Throughout these years, I learned and adapted to the world to survive.. People say time changes everything.. But, you've been a constant in my life! Happy Fathers Day! :)

आजकल कुछ अजीब सा लगता है! मानो  आँख -मिचोली  का  खेल  खत्म  ना  हो  रहा  हो .. ढूंढ  रही  हु  मैं  पर  कोई  हर  बार  ढप्पी कर  रहा  हो .. खीझ  सी  है  मन  मे जो .. मुझ  को  असहज  सा  कर  रही .. दूर  एक  परछाई है .. जिसको  बिन -देखे  मैं  डर  रही .. आजकल कुछ अजीब सा लगता है! मानो  कोई  इम्तेहान  देने  के  लिए  बस  निकलना  हो .. तैयारी  पूरी  है  पर  कोई  अनचाहा  सवाल  आने  वाला  हो .. डर  सा  है  मन  मैं  जो .. मुझको  कुछ  करने  नहीं  दे  रहा .. आने वाला  अनजाना  समय  है .. जो  मुझे  बेसब्र सा  कर  रहा .. आजकल कुछ अजीब सा लगता है! मानो  बहुत  भूख  लगी  हो  और  खाना  बन  रहा  ...

I am often dumbfounded while dealing with opinionated people in my life.. As I don't know how to start that conversation knowing it might never end. I contemplate if I should go ahead and later make amends or its better to avoid strife.. Whatever I decide, it messes up my mind.. I try to be happy.. well.. I do pretend. You would think that it is easy to let go, that it is easy to just ignore.. After all you just need to shut down all your senses and sit and just smile. Well.. it is definitely not that easy, you start detesting the person you adore.. As you need to control all your instincts to ensure your attitude is not hostile. I have learnt and am still learning that whatever I do.. it really doesn't matter.. People won't change their innate behavior just because it causes unpleasantness to others. But, even though I can try and tolerate people and things, I just cannot flatter.. So, I often sit there silently dreaming what if I was a bi...

I know I do not say that enough, but you might already know that you are my lifeline.. I might not call/message, neither/either but I know I can reach out to you anytime.. No doubt we are miles apart yet together,  woven to each other with an invisible bond! I have someone I can fall onto with my eyes closed!  Someone to share secrets and mischief unsung.. Time goes on but memories are forever,  Those timeless treasures we need to clung.. No doubt we are miles apart yet together,  woven to each other with an invisible bond! Well.. because I have you...  However old I might grow,  I still have a reason to feel like a child.. I can fight, complain, cry, and enjoy at the same time, Say anything without thinking and plan to live in the wild! No doubt we are miles apart yet together,  woven to each other with an invisible bond!

Nothing is wrong with you, and believe me, nothing is wrong with them, Nothing is wrong with the universe, no matter how much you condemn. There is nothing you can change now, and you might have tried everything in hand, Well, some people just do not want to understand!! Initially, when you meet them, they seem to be pretty normal, But the reality sinks in when you start getting less formal. Those petty little things, those little remarks, it all seems so well-planned. There is nothing you can change now, and you might have tried everything in hand, Well, some people just do not want to understand!! If you like to confront people, you will pick up a fight, and if you are a deep thinker, you want to know "who is right?" But, believe me, it is alright, if you are unable to take a stand, There is nothing you can change now, and you might have tried everything in hand, Well, some people just do not want to understand!! You want to understand the problem to find ...

Living a life with no purpose, having no dream to follow... I fear that this could be me, and I want to avoid that hollow! I know it is better to conceal some thoughts deep inside... But, what if you are not up to it.. and it's too difficult to hide? Well.. then someone tells you.. these obstacles in life are for your own good... and you can just nod your head, smile and say, Yes! I definitely understood! But in your mind.. you are still brooding over all possibilities... You set aside thoughts of Failures.. and think of promising opportunities! That "Hope" of conquering the whole world is something that keeps you going... It helps you face everything, be it something you were not at all hoping! Losing that "Hope" to win in my life is what I fear the most! I am confident to take care of the rest while moving from pillar to post.

There are times, when you feel lost and are unable to get, what you really want! There are times, when you aren't successful and whole world seems to fall apart! Just at that moment, you need to hold on to your beliefs and trust yourself, Because, anyone else cannot judge you, know you or understand you that well! There are times, when everyone around you seems to be an alien, and you want to run! There are times, when you are remorseful and rethink why you did what you have done! Just at that moment, you need to hold on to your beliefs and trust yourself, Because, anyone else cannot judge you, know you or understand you that well! There are times, when there is so much todo, but you can't concentrate on a single task! There are times, when you have many questions in your mind, but you are too afraid to ask! Just at that moment, you need to hold on to your beliefs and trust yourself, Because, anyone else cannot judge you, know you or understand...